Originally Posted by
Mama22Boys 
He texted me "sure is cold out here in the car." To which I laughed to myself because its 47 degrees, not 32.
I KNOW where that money would have gone...not to mention each time we have discussed him leaving it's always "give me $400 for one night" so I can "eat" and "get a room".
find another option because he KNOWS there are options out there that don't involve sleeping in the car and I am telling myself HE is being stubborn and if he is suffering out there, well that is his own fault.
Ok--nothing wrong with what you did. Putting him out without any money is not mean. He has friends doesn't he? He can borrow from them if he is truly cold in the car. There are shelters. One night on a buddy's couch or in a shelter or even in the car won't kill him.
He had money for drugs.
They never seem to have money for things that aren't related to drugs.
But yet there always seems to be money for what they want, drugs.
If a motel room is really what he wants, he will get it.
If he is uncomfortable, truly uncomfortable in the car, he won't stay in the car. There is ALWAYS some unwitting friend that puts them up for a night.
Do you have proof he is even in the car? He could be sitting in someone's living room texting you. Unless you see him sitting in the car, it could be an act of making you feel guilty to let him come home.
You have taken a stand against the mighty disease. Remember, it will fight you, it will make you feel guilty, it will do whatever it takes in order to remain.
So when he throws his fit--just remember it is his disease talking. And it will say ANYTHING to survive.
You deserve a break. You have been putting up with this for four or five months, and how many years. Taking a one night break is not going to kill him. It's being honest with yourself and saying, tonight the kids and I need a break.
If you want you can tell him to come home tomorrow. Or if you don't want to you can tell him to stay away again.
I have been through this scenario for eight years. It is always a little scary for us, though trust me not for them. They get mad because you dared to take a stand. Their disease throws a fit, but that's about all it does.
Even if you find that you put him out for the wrong reasons, so what? It only has to be for one night if you want. You can make the choice whether it is to be for longer or not.
Don't feel guilty for taking a little time off. Don't over analyze it. Tonight you needed a break. Tomorrow you might feel stronger to decide which way you want to go, if you want to go at all.
You are doing good. Every stand we take and say enough! is a step forward in the right direction. Think of it this way, you didn't tell him you needed a break, you told his disease. AND YOU DESERVE IT.