"AA does not recommend separating alcoholics from those who love them. If that has been your experience, then I am so very sorry. That is not AA.
If you have access to a Big Book, I suggest you read the chapter entitled "To The Wives.""
Freedom 1990...
Bottom line is this. My friend has been sober for 1 1/2 years - with only a few months, in the beginning, with the AA Program. She decided it was not the right program for her, and has not had a drink in all of that time. She still has not. Now, with feeling that she might relapse, she has turned to the AA Program. With that, they have ("not AA... but this HAS happened) told her to cut her ties with everyone except AA members that they consider as "safe" people for her to associate with. I totally realize that this is NOT in the "big book" or a typical and correct guidance from most of AA. The reality is... It IS happening. This is occurring in a small town in Georgia.
At this point, I am sorry to say that... that local group seems to be off-base. And, I have yet to find a way to do anything about it. So, she will go to the meetings, and do what her sponsor and the group dictate - even though it totally against what AA teaches (by the book.) This is one of the primary flaws with AA. There is no regulation or monitoring of what individual groups do... or what individual sponsors advocate. The members are at the mercy of the guidance (however good or bad) that their local sponsors give them. Again, there are studies that show that AA's "survival" rate is one of the worst of all programs (when one considers the 95+% dropout rate, and the % after one year or those that stay in the program.)
I do realize there is nothing I can do. Even if I could, it is not mine to do.
At this point, I am simply trying to understand why AA does not monitor their groups, and if they do, how this kind of thing can happen. I totally realize that, because I feel that this group may do more harm than good, that I can't do a thing - without being perceived as "part of the problem" for the recovering alcoholic. But, frankly... I think it is an abusive and controlling situation that is very dangerous - not only for my friend - but for other AH's that need help and are looking to AA to get it.