Hi again Free,
I know it's not much comfort for you but I do know what you are going through. Please take it easy on yourself because it hasn't even been a month yet. I know you want it all to come together so that you start feeling better and feel like you can get something moving in your life, but honey, this is going to take a while.
I don't want to scare you because everyone is different and goes at their own pace, but my Ex-Addicted Person who was kind of my BF left 8 and a half months ago. I felt those feelings that you are feeling now for months before I got thru them. You're grieving, that's all, and that's okay, because we all need to grieve. If we didn't, well, we'd probably be drinking and/or drugging or something equally unhealthy instead.
It's so hard when there are reminders of the other person around us in our daily lives. If there is anything that reminds you of him that you can put away for now, try to do that. You don't have to throw it away, just put it in an out-of-the-way place.
You might want to look around here on this F&F forum and go back a few weeks to some old posts of folks who were going thru then what you're going thru right now. That may be helpful for you to connect what you're learning to what you're feeling.
I promise you this will get better. You just keep breathing thru the pain, K? Hugs :ghug3