feeling guilty about myself
I know that I'm not supposed to feel guilty, but I don't like my feelings at the moment.
All I really want is to have my old life back with my AXBF. I feel ridiculous that I was so much happier then than now. I miss our life together, despite some of the dysfunction. I feel like I should know better, especially reading the advice on this site. I've been reading the classic reading section and it all rings true, but it doesn't cut past the knowledge that I was basically so much happier before. I don't like my weakness. I feel like I should be so much stronger. I wish I could get all the information to penetrate my heart.