Pugg,
My exah was a heroin addict too.
There were MANY MANY times when I fell back into old patterns as I struggled to get my life back on track. It takes a long time to undo old patterns of behavior. The important point is that you recognize your behavior as unhealthy. You know a better way. You can brush yourself off and get back on track.
In the beginning, when I struggled with wanting to get thru to my ex, I learned to stop and play the whole tape from beginning to end in my head. I KNEW what the outcome would be if I tried to reason with my ex...if I tried to get some type of validation of my feelings...to reason with him about finances, our son, or anything for that matter...I always ended up angry, frustrated, and disgusted with myself. If I could just stop myself before I went down that path and recognize that the path is a dead end, I could stop myself from going there. It did get easier with practice and time. The struggles you face today won't always be so intense...as long as you stay on the path of YOUR recovery and YOUR truth.
I hope you cut yourself some slack. Give yourself the love and compassion you're hoping to get from him. It really does sound like you're doing so well and just suffered a minor set back last night. Learn from it and go on.
Hugs.