New--but not new
I am new to this forum, went looking for one earlier, but I'm not new to recovery. I 've abused alcohol (and meds) on and off for over 40 yrs. Haven't had a drink since June 1, 09 and was doing good but then came a big blow to my world when my Mom died last Saturday. She wasn't well but her passing was very unexpected. Although I'm on meds for depression and bi-polar disorder I could only think of finding relief in a drink, no, many drinks. A friend talked me out of it and I've abstained so far but that certain urge I know all too well is still dominating thought, energy, time. I know how it would play out if I do pick up again.....so I need support more than I knew possible. This is huge--- this sudden transition, awakening, shock, pain, for no one this close to me has ever died before. My MOM my dear beautiful mom.Yet I still try to give myself reasons why I SHOULD drink. Just to get trough this, I can hande alcohol better than the pain and aloneness, etc...momentto moment I'm fighting the impulse. I'm here now for help and will stay hre as long and as much as necessary to ride out the storm. It feels good knowing all of us here are in a similar battle. Thinking about everyone here. Talk to you later......blessings