I think you will get to a point where your first reaction is love.
I clearly remember somewhere in my first year of recovery after rehab when I was scolding my then only daughter. She would have been around 8 years old. I was being harsh and critical, just like my mother. It hit me right after I said something to her that I sounded just like my mother!
I started crying. It was painful and yet freeing at the same time. That which I despised most in my mother was something I wasn't willing to look at in myself.
I think your children are very lucky to have a mother like you! :ghug2