October 6, 2009
I wrote this about 2 years ago…this is who I thought I was...can anyone relate?
Does anyone feel the pain?
How dark, how cold, does anyone feel the pain? My heart it seems to fail me, yet it does not stop beating. Why? How can one person feel so much pain, everywhere I look, I see no escape. Life keeps moving, day in and day out. Where among the many faces shall I find some relief, some light in my vast darkness? I feel pain; it feels like something in the middle of my gut is twisting me harder and harder. It does not ease up, it is wrenching, I can’t stand anymore, I fall to the ground, I cradle myself. What do I need? Will it be a drink? Will it be a drug? Will they be my friend in this darkness where there seems to be no escape. This place where I have become so familiar with, this place I call home, where agony is my best friend, how do I get out of this place? I don’t want to be here anymore. I try to straighten up but my legs feel weak, if only I can find the strength to reach out. There you are, here I am, do you see my hand? It is reaching out for you, please take it, please don’t walk by. I watch as no help comes, my hand retreats back into its ball of a shape. Does anyone see the pain behind the smile? Here I sit, here I will remain, how dark, how cold, does anyone feel the pain?
Here is what I am writing today…
I am a child of the most high God
I am the apple of my Father’s eye
I am full of potential
I am over flowing with creativity
I am blessed and not cursed
I am victorious and well able
I am endowed with greatness by God Himself
I can do all things through Christ
I have courage, strength, and ability
I have been crowned with God’s glory and honor
Whatever I touch will prosper and succeed
The favor of God surrounds me wherever I go
THIS IS WHO I REALLY AM!
