LivingLifeMYWAY

I just joined here, need a place to talk with other addicts. Real quick about me, started playing around w/ percos and loricets probably 4 years ago. Never for pain, just for a little juice. Liked how it felt. Only ate pills occasionally. Obviously it escalated, duh! why I'm here! Remember the first time I tried a little chip of a roxy, whew! Remember how much more potent an oxy 80 felt, never been more f-ed up! Got to be about a year and a half ago I started using percs every day, eventually found roxy's and oxy's. Loved to snort em, made everything ok. Meanwhile married, professional, with a baby on the way, and wife...clueless!!! Got to the point I'd snort as many as I had, could not take it easy. Know some who still medicate for years who still only do small doses but not me, got to the point snorting 10-15 pill a day. Whenever I couldn't find any, my "good" buddies would give me a handful of methadone and once I discovered how it took away the oxy w/d's I used it for about 6 mos. Eventually, I had had enough and desperately tried to quit. Made it 5 days once. I work a lot out of state so when I would go away I would try and detox away from family while working hard sweating balls **** 10 hours a day! Never could successfully do it alone. So..............................

Heres the best part..... I FINALLY stop lying to myself and spill the beans to my wife while I'm away because the I could not take it anymore. She had a lot of hate towards me, probably because I told her everything. She used to work at a methadone clinic for god's sake, I was so ashamed. The money I spent, the lying about where I was, I HATED myself. Finally went to a clinic to get better...

Spent 2 mos. on Suboxone and really tapered well to where I was taking a quarter 2x a day for 2 weeks. I tell my doctor, listen, I won't ever go back to opiods, it's not an option for me, my love of my life will leave me. Everything I've ever wanted, I got and I've been pissing it away and taking what I have for granted! So..................

To get off the suboxone, because you will withdrawal, he prescribes me tramadol and gives me this sheet a paper called "the tramadol protocol". Her's how it's intended to work....4 50mg. pills 4x a day for 3 days, 3 pills 3 more days, 2 pills 3 more days, 1 pill 3 more days, then, you're all good, Excuse my language but bull F-in sh8t! Day 3 I called my dr. and said my w/d's were strong and could not sleep...obviously been taking clonapin at night to get to sleep but wake up at 3 on the dot and toss and turn until I eat another tramadol. He tells me they think they undermedicate and it would be ok if I was hurtin to eat up to 400mg.'s a day..so for a few days I did, then started to taper, getting to 1 pill 8 am, 1 pill 8 pm. tried this for about 3 days and began serious w/d's! Called Dr. and he says this is RARE!...so he gives me a script for a 100 and says to stay on a little longer, should be ok. Now I start to research tramadol and all I read is horrible! I just want to be DONE.........PLEASE any help, I've tried everything!