Seeing AH in a different light
Yesterday he came over to help me bleed the clutch on my car, as he was in front of the car on the ground he kept saying, "don't run me over ."
We laughed. I made him a sandwich before he left. I think I can be his friend eventually. Rather, I think we can be friendly eventually. I have no friends who treat me the way he has.
I think I"m not in love with him anymore.
At least my heart isn't broken anymore. I don't care what he does when he's not here with me. When he calls raging, I hang up.
I think the spell is broken. My life, and taking care of the kids, is the most important thing on earth right now. Not whether or not he'll sober up, or text the bimbo again, or go see her, or threaten to divorce me. He can't hurt me anymore. I lived in fear for so long and in the absence of that, feel like a superhero.
Now, if I can just white knuckle it through this batch of brutal PMS...