I'm sorry you're going through this, goldberry, but it sounds like you may need to detach even further from their drama and chaos if you're going to be happy.
I had to stop visiting my parents and A siblings for a while. And I set a boundary that, if they phone me and they have been drinking/using, I will say "I do not wish to have a conversation with you when you're drinking." and hang up. (I often use Caller ID to screen their calls to avoid confrontation....the messages they leave tell me well enough whether they're drunk or not)
If you want peace in your life, you may have to back further away and focus on building & enjoying your own life, far from their addiction. If you have grown up thinking that fighting and conflict and chaos are normal, this will feel strange at first, like something is missing. But it was the best thing I ever did...and nowadays we can have civilized relationships because 1) my boundaries are clear, 2) I always have an escape route (smart brother!) and 3) I have rooted out the thing in me that fed on the drama.
