Kinda sounds to me like basic compatibility issues instead of recovery issues. Sometimes, as we work through these problems with our A's, we discover there are underlying issues/problems that really having nothing to do with addiction. Its hard to face and admit, but its necessary if you ever want to resolve your pain. Staying in denial prevents the resolution of pain.
Also, the fact he puts himself in the position tells me he doesn't want recovery bad enough yet. Which means you are spinning your wheels on this person, waiting for him to get serious about recovery, and allowing yourself to stay sick at the same time. Actions are everything in my opinion. I've come to the point where I see recovery (for both A's and codies) in pretty much black and white. Anything less than "getting it done" is not wanting recovery bad enough. Anything less is an excuse to stay sick. Period. Anyone who REALLY WANTS IT will not let anything get in the way of their progress. Period. JMHO.