Welcome!!!
That's just your alcoholism defense talking, the same voice that told you it was a good idea to go back out.
Swallow your pride, go back, and try working the steps this time. Here's a thought, if you don't stay sober, you have a pretty excellent chance of not getting those things that you feel are so important.
Work the steps, you may decide that those things aren't so important after all.
Keep coming back, you'll find a lot of support here.