coming_clean welcome back! You say:
I've been coming here and writing for two years now or so, and i've been relapsing dozens of time.
Then you say:
What i'm gonna do this time to stay sober;
powernaps, replace coffee by tea, call my girlfriend when i want to get high cause she offered to help me, doing usefull stuff like studying, working, cleaning,
Have you considered working a program of recovery?
I know I tried all kinds of wonderful ways of staying sober for a lot of years and all it wound up leading to was a 5 year long period in my life of not drawing a sober breath. Every single one of my plans involved vertually no effort on my part, the one plan I tried over and over again was the "
I will stay busy doing useful things plan!" LOL It took me numerous failures at this to see that staying busy doing useful things was boring as hell and what does an alcoholic like me do when he is bored? Well I would become anxious, irratable, and discontent which always took me back to my old comfort....... drunbk again.
When I finally was willing to do what ever it took to stay sober I got into a recovery plan and I WORKED it!!! I continue to WORK it.
Have you thought that maybe after 2 years with dozens of relapses that maybe it is time to try some way other then your way?
Trust me if all it took to get and stay clean and sober was to take powernaps, replace coffee by tea, call a friend when one wants to get high or drunk no one would have an issue with alcoholism or drug addiction!!!