one
It's difficult to stay believing in myself. I've been coming here and writing for two years now or so, and i've been relapsing dozens of time.
I invest most of my energy , health and money in getting high, and then coming down again, etc. etc. etc. A continues circle that leads to nowere but down the drain.
It's hard to face to facts. I have start all over again. The four clean months I gained this summer have been undone. I'm smoking weed everyday almost all day again. And, ofcourse, it started with this one joint.
I even ate hallucinating truffels last weekend with my girlfriend. She ended up in a bad trip which was really really scary for her but also for me. I didn't open my eyes or anything. Monday, tuesday and wednesday I got high again.
What i'm gonna do this time to stay sober;
powernaps, replace coffee by tea, call my girlfriend when i want to get high cause she offered to help me, doing usefull stuff like studying, working, cleaning,
I once again came to the conclusion that i don't have a clue what a sober life is. I started smoking weed when i was 14. Been smoking it almost daily ever since. Now'i'm 25!!! All together i had about 2 years sobertime.
I'VE BEEN HIGH FOR ONE THIRD OF MY LIFE!!!!!