I am the wife of a recovering heroin addict…I remember the insanity of the early days, right before I went on a quest to find help for him and realized real quick I needed help.
The road can be long, and slow but I found it awesome to watch…
It was slow and a bit relentless (all my own doing) on my side as well, but worth the trip!
To get past everything I had to work on me. And then work some more…It was a learning experience I needed.
Any resentment I had was so me, not a real nice part either, and I sure as hell used them in the most twisted of ways…
The anger, I don’t know if I had much, I think a bit different it so made sense to me that my husband used, really now he was an addict…
The hurt I had to put in its place, once I really removed the focus off him I could so see where my reactions made to much sense for me.
Trust I am smiling, as I trust my husband will do exactly what he wishes to do…I tend to be the same…
I really tried to stay and still do make sure I am way out of the way. He is a big boy and can certainly take care of himself and his recovery. I take care of me and my end of things….in terms of together we will have a real good chance of a wonderful life if we both keep taking care of ourselves. I do really think it is the only way a relationship can work if both sides get healthy and work on them.
I also don’t place limits on things, don’t set anything one way. I am adult enough to know that my husband can seek out support his way, and I sure as hell do mine. We both have good support systems very separate and very different from each other.
Do not allow addiction to steal from you … well actually that should probably read do not give away yourself to the addiction, because in essence that is what we do…
Seek out your hopes and dreams again, make new ones, pull out the old one. They are worth it, you are worth them!
Educate yourself on addiction, on codependency.
Find a good support system because you are so not alone…
Get back into life and live it, slowly if you need to, and be gentle with yourself.
Take good care of you and good luck to both of you.
Inciting Silence