I work in a research center--the sort of place that looks at the effect a yoga intervention has on breast cancer survivors. Also on the effect of lifestyle interventions--exercise and diet combined and alone on breast cancer biomarkers. Still, I think the mind body connection is partially chemical and partially spiritual. For the past couple of months I've meant to download some guided meditations to listen to. I put ten things on request for inter-library loan, purchased two cds, and downloaded about fifteen mp3 collections, then put them all into a little player that I could listen to while waiting to fall asleep.
Yes, intentionally setting aside time to meditate has made a big difference to me. I went and chased down all those tapes because I had been listening to one CD (Pema Chodron, On Mindfulness) where she talked about the process of tonglen. It involved opening the heart and feeling suffering instead of pushing it away. I think I listened to it fifty times. The first few times I listened to it I found I would stand up afterwards and feel completely different. I felt peaceful and hopeful, like I let go of something I didn’t' need to hold so tightly to. For one hour the tape inside my head that played and replayed the insanity and pain of addiction that had been consuming me for much of the previous year and all of the previous month shut the f*** up. Just that first time it felt magic, like one small ray of light that someday I might actually feel better, that I might learn how to actively choose my state of mind when feeling despair. In all honesty, that first time I heard it was amazing, and listening after that over and over did feel a little like work. Work I needed to do though.
That was in June. Early September I compiled a batch of more guided audio to see if I could try to learn more about altering my experience of self / universe / body. I am glad I did that too. Just following through on my intention to try it made a big difference for me. First, I felt relief that I was doing something good for myself--making contact with how my relaxed body felt--it actually crowded out for a few minutes the thoughts that typically arise: inwards pull towards planning, judging, fantasizing, remembering, internal conversations, hating myself, feeling that something needed to change and it wouldn't change and it was my fault, all that crud. These thoughts were flying around like sparrows in my head, but I could come back to the stillness. I could turn my attention away from that. I could choose to listen to silence. I could choose to accept that silence. I could choose to accept how I felt in that silence, and it felt like peace. That peace was there if I made space for it.
The fact is, it did alter my state of mind. I'm sure there are logical reasons to do with brain waves, cortisol, blood pressure, etc. But I am also sure there are deeply spiritual parameters that have to do with being in a trance, awareness, and intent to open to seeing the world a new way. I put this here in the event you wanted to give it a listen. I sound like an evangelist (hah!!) here, but maybe this kind of faith (faith in yourself) is not such a bad thing.
equanimity page where you can download one mp3 <-here's a link to one mp3 I really liked recently; it may take 10min to download depending on your internet connection