Hi,
I also drank to numb my feelings, escape from my problems and my life. I had no interest in one glass of wine either. What would be the point? I wanted to tune out. To hide it from my family, I drank at home, alone, never in public. I hid how much I drank from everyone, though as time went on, my husband and kids surely had a good idea what was going on.
My belief is that you know you need/want to stop drinking. The little voice that you hear after a few days of not drinking, is the addict voice. It's manipulating you and wants you to continue to feed it. It doesn't want to lose and as you think about stopping drinking, it will get louder and louder.
Alcoholism is a progessive disease. It will get worse unless you stop.