Have you considered counseling for yourself to help you through the tumultuous feelings you're going through? A counselor can talk with you about the dynamic of the individual situations you're going through, get into detail we can't here, and recommend specific remedies and actions that might help you find common ground. A counselor might also help you get to the root of why, when someone (ACOA or not) pushes you away, you don't just move on, but continue to engage in the push-pull drama even though it hurts you. Just a thought....I know it was very helpful to me.