Thank you everyone.. very much. I had a great dinner and today I am getting my hair done, my sons girlfriend is a pro and she is doing it for me. The axbf called 3 more times yesterday, singing happy birthday.. I did speak with him the last time, and he said... 'I am sorry for all of this, I am a full blown alcoholic and I need help'. I said, get help, and until you make that decision for yourself there is no need for this contact because I won't allow you back in my life under these terms. He cried, we talked about how much fun we had when we were together and how the drink sucks the life out of everything. (mind you he was sober yesterday) He started with the blame game until I was firm with him and he just said.. I know, it is the drinking, and explained how hard it is for him to quit.
He said, at this point he can't be in a relationship with anyone (no duh) and that God isn't finished working on him so that he can be the man that I need and want (keeping me hooked with the words) and to trust that God will make it all better by healing him from his addiction (so I pray for, but not necessarily for my life) He has said all of these things before, a year ago.. and never followed through on anything.
I was good with it after the initial crying from yesterday morning/afternoon. I hung out with my sons and we laughed and talked about silly things. They have set up a big birthday bash for me this weekend with a local band playing.
Overall it was a good birthday. I thank God for my SR family being here when I cry and need a shoulder. I don't like to cry so I don't usually let anyone see my heart breaking.