A look at myself from the outside
Work was a little stressful last night...but nothing to get in a twist over.
One of my coworkers was flipping out over essentially nothing. Reminded me of myself. Apparently she popped a pill and said sometime later, "I'm totally numb now."
It was strange...I watched her behavior and compared it to mine....past and present.
I don't have to use a substance to numb me out. True, I'm on meds for depression, but it doesn't numb me or buzz me. I can still feel like crap...or good. It just balances me out so I'm not having suicidal thoughts all the time. It's as close to "normal" as I can get when it comes to moods.
I can feel an emotion and not bury it. Even if it's overwhelming I can feel it....and know it will pass. Every time I do this I get stronger.
People have said this to me and I didn't get it until I could do it. It just takes some time, staying sober and working on one's self to get well.