blusunflower,
Was it as freeing for you to say basically "sorry, can't help you, I'm busy helping me." Because that's what I said to my XABF in the process of us separating. He had already moved and I was up all nite loading a moving truck by myself, and he starts in on the phone about how he realizes he has a problem and would I go with him into therapy. WTF? You say this now, on the eve of my moving all alone into a new life after months of working on a recovery of my own for months because now it has just dawned on you after 10+ years of my trying to get you to get help. Way to jump in there early, right?
It is so liberating when you let go of their lives and deal with just your own. Now that I see what I mess I had let myself become while I was concentrating on him. It's like a summer house I have let go for a few seasons and I'm just now cleaning out the musty old place.
Bravo to you for all your hard work!!
Alice