It took me years to get it, too. Don't be discouraged! I made it out of hell after 25+ years.
I could never picture myself living without alcohol either. I quit because I didn't want to die & I felt it was coming to that. I remember taking baby steps in the beginning - I felt like an alien dropped out of the sky, trying to understand a new world. Every single day brought some sort of change or improvement, though I didn't even realize it at the time. I was miserable and confused, so please be kind to yourselves and don't expect to feel wonderful in the beginning. Some do, but most of us crawl along for awhile, wondering if we'll ever feel human again. I promise you it will get better and the sun will shine in your life again. There will be happiness, enthusiasm and hope once more.