I know when I started out Debs my life was completely unmanageable. I couldnt keep a job or a place to live, not even a rented room. I had to seek help from social services, an outpatient rehab (in addition to inpatient because of physical withdrawal), and the structure of a halfway house. These are not available in all areas to all people. If they are and you think you might need any of that stuff, please dont let pride get in the way. Remember you have a medical condition, that is recognized by the medical community.
Dont drink today, we are praying for you. Dont be worried about "letting anyone down". One day, one hour, one breath at a time if necessary. And call someone.