I understand what's happening to me..... I'm grieving....
Credit must go to Dothi for this - a couple of weeks ago she suggested I Google the stages of loss. I wasn't too sure of this because well... noone's died...
However, not wanting to leave any stone unturned, today I did some research on loss and grief. What an eye-opener...
Everything makes so much more sense - I have had so many losses over the last four months:
-My son received a diagnosis of High Functioning Autism
-I gave up my dream job to become my son's Carer
-The loss of my childhood, accepting I was an abused child
-The loss of my early adulthood, accepting that the emotional and psychological abuse was continuing
-The loss of my brother to alcoholism and my mother to codependency
-The loss of a mother that I never had and that I will never get
-The loss of an adult brother that I never had and that I will never get
No wonder I'm on my knees but.... in true ACOA style I have been telling myself that they're only little things, not that bad - typical, eh!
Time to start accepting IWTH, that is some list you have just typed out.
Looking at the stages of loss, I can see that I am past the denial stage but I am still bargaining, feeling angry and feeling sad.
I also felt hope for the first time today - hope born of the understanding that I was grieving.
IWTHxxx