I'm not accepting that relapse is inevitable. The fact that I'm considering dissolving my marriage to avoid one speaks to that. The fact of the matter is that not only do most people not recover from addiction, the ones that do usually relapse and its usually more than once before they finally clean up. I only know one person who stayed sober after their first encounter with rehab/recovery. I'm working hard to make sure it doesn't happen. This doesn't mean I'm not scared that it could happen.
I'm also not sure that I'm too wrapped up in my wife's issues/life. This isn't a friend or a parent or a sibling or even my child. My wife is my partner in life. Our lives are practically one and the same. In order for this to work we need to be on the same page. Would anyone argue that I DON'T need to change people, places and things. Even if my wife isn't one of those in herself, if she keeps me tied to them is it unreasonable for me to ask her to give them up.
As I said in my other thread, after all the chaos that addiction brought into our lives, I would think that she would want nothing to do with those kinds of environments. I REALLY don't want to give up on this marriage. The thought of leaving her makes me sick to my stomach. I'm not looking to control her. My hope is that I can help her to see why the alternative is in her and our interest.