Hi Startled! Welcome!
She is wonderful person and deserves better life than before like everybody else.
This is true for all people - I agree! What I found in learning to break free of my codependency is that only each individual person can decide to make that better life for themselves. I cannot "give" anyone a better life. I can support and love the people I care about and not make their life more difficult but it is up to them how they want to live.
It sounds like your gal is working on some big and difficult issues - and all I can say is the best thing you can do is: let her do that! The best chance for a success in any relationship is if you continue to work on yourself- and allow your partner the dignity and freedom to work on herself.
So, is this relationship, and this person, just the way she is today working for you?
Are you clear on what your personal problems are and are you working on improving yourself?
You asked:
May be is there a person in similar situation and could make some advice how to follow, how to behave in relation with her, not to make her more angry, how to try to start to work for better relations.
I can only say, in my life, my relationships improve when I work on MYSELF and don't try to fix other people or walk on eggshells because they "get angry."
I don't know if that helps - maybe a counselor or therapist can help you get the focus back on you!
peace-
b