Forgiving ourselves
Was writing this post to put on the great on started about "What annoys your the most about adiction". Then I thought maybe a new thread was a better choice. One of the very wise people on that thread talked about being the most annoyed with herself and that really caused me to "flare up again". I too am (yes still am) angry with myself for putting up with all that I did. MY choices to support someone or tolerate I guess, someone with a drug/alchohol problem HAVE cost me a ton financially, emotionally and physically. The real work, as we all know is in forgiving ourselves and accepting our situations or choices.
Although I am spending quite a bit of time with my counselor on this one... I am still struggling big time with it. More ideas on how to let go and to forgive me... please.
I find myself angry not so much at the addict any more, but at me for making "dumb" choices. I feel like I must be unable to make good decisions, since I didn't make many during the last 25+ years. I know that every day is a new day... but this cloud is definitely following me. I feel almost paralyzed or unwilling to take actions to "fix" or help myself. I know that sitting here and not doing anything won't change anything, but I feel helpless.... guess I am having a slide back again today.
Thoughts??