My problems around this issue didn't stem from having hopes or goals or dreams. My problems came from thinking that I could actually CONTROL the future. And, along with that, CONTROL others. I was very rigid in my thinking that things HAD TO be a certain way. My focus was on how I WANTED things to be. So much so, that I had to deny to myself how things REALLY WERE. As a result, I felt I had to live in the future because the present was so miserable.
I posted on another thread about life being unpredictable. Sometimes we have to stop and re-evaluate. Things rarely turn out exactly the way I want them to. I can be angry and dig in my heels and keep going in the same direction, even though it's not working. Or I can take what comes and make the best of it. One way leaves me disappointed and unhappy, the other gets me peace and fulfillment. I don't have much control over what happens, but I have a lot of control over how I REACT to what happens.
That's my two cents anyway........
L