You stated, "Guess it don't matter a flip how dads feeling." Oh, it matters greatly!
I can tell U love yr wife and U want it 2 B the way it was... That is so hard 2 deal with. Things and people change, like the wind, laws, and seasons....
Just give her space, go 2 counselling, work on this, isn't this what U want, I can feel it...but U want the loving 2. Nothing wrong with that..
Men R soooo visual, woman R emotional, we have 2 feel, it has 2 touch the heart...does this make sense?
Don't give up on her.
Stay strong.