URMYEVERYTHING

Second, WOW, Learn2Live... I'm sorry things have not worked out for you in the past, however, I don't have the energy to dissect your post sentence by sentence to make my point. I appreciate your feedback. As you started off by saying in your first sentence... they are merely opinions (blunt indeed) but opinions.

Third, I am NOT making excuses for this man or rationalizing anything. I simply stated the facts of his history. I guess I didn't take in mind that someone would come along and pick word by word and read in between the lines of my wording. He is an addict. I get that. He is a criminal and has engaged in criminal behavior with his addiction, I get that. I know what dangers come along with addiction and someone using, I get that. However, the way your post reads is that an addict cannot recover and ever be looked at as a respectable person after addiction, ever again as long as they shall live. THAT I DISAGREE WITH. I would say this has to be your own denial and/or your lack of hope and I'm truly sorry this has been your experience. My experience was I was married to a non-addict, whom cheated on me and laid his penis everywhere.. (unknown to me, of course) still putting me at the same risk as an addict would and treated me the same way an addict would (disconnected, depressed and non-communicative). As soon as I had enough.. I divorced him. Life has no guarantees and neither does a man (addict or not). I'm not a fool Learn2Live.... it may take me a minute to recollect... but not a fool. I have said that I'm keeping myself protected and when the time comes for me to say enough.. I am fully capable of pulling the cord.

Also, I never claimed to be a specialist with addiction in regards to helping my BF. That's where I take the backseat. I'm fully aware of this. Thanks for your insightful feedback though. I wouldn't have given all of those people, as you have, my time and energy unless I'm at work.

Support- yeah, support.

I don't know what your idea of support is but just talking to an addict about the simple things in life can be support. I do it everyday on my job. Visiting them can be support. It is often said on here to not support an addict unless they are willing to seek treatment and recovery. For now, that is what he is choosing to do and I will support him through that. BF or not! But thanks for putting me on the chopping block as me being in DENIAL because I choose to do that. I am able to judge how much I can put on my plate. When the plate starts to overflow... it's time to put some of that food into the garbage disposal and let it go.

Oh, not getting him a calling card... yes, is an accomplishment for me. Reporting as a mother?? Not likely... but reporting from a person who isn't going to enable anymore. Someone who has worked through the temptation to not give into the BS. So, for that, YEAH FOR ME!! I give myself a pat on the back for that.

I'm a "reactor" for kicking him out of the house when I found out he relapsed? So, what would you have suggested? Keep him here and work it out? Not react? Really? Are you even human?

There is just too much in your post to keep going and it's exhausting.

But one more thing, Yes, I believe in hope and prayer. Please do not direct or advise me on what to pray for ("to get away from this person as quickly as possible"). I pray for guidance in this situation as I do with all difficult situations. If it is meant to be that we do not remain together, it will be shown this at the time it needs to be shown.

For now... I write on here to vent and get my feelings out. I come on here to read others experiences to gain insight and hopefully help others. It has been helping me since I joined and I wish for it to continue to in a supportive manner.

Thanks again for your opinions.