this definitley sounds familiar and it's so hard to watch someone you love self destruct but... my mom is gone and i miss her SO dam much. at times she felt like i had given up on her and like i wasn't there and she was a disappointment to me... if i could go back i'd make sure she knew just how much she meant. i'm not saying enable, but for your own sanity make sure she knows how much you DO love her, how much you CARE, and how much you DO want her to get better because the guilt you will feel when she is gone is overwhleming. it consumes me everyday and it's very hard for me to face that my mother didn't know exactly how much she meant to me and that she felt like a disappointment to me... regardless of her addiciton or her choices in life. i really hate that she felt that way. it makes it hard and i feel like i will never find peace.
good luck to you.
