This may sound strange, but I don't know how to fix this behavior properly without alcohol!
Mnay experience this problem.
Fortunatly there is a non-alcohol solution.
The 12-step program within AA/NA can help you specifially address such issues and lead you to the path of peacefullness, acceptance, and serenity.
I was 100% against it and totally skeptical at first so maybe aproach the 12-step program from the aspect that you want to find out why it will not work for you. I am still trying to find out why the 12-steps will not work for me, and in the meantime I am reaping HUGE benefits from it.
Keep coming back.