ap i'm so glad you are here. and spill your guts out all you want -- no 1 it helps to get things out (believe me i know) no 2 it's a good first step to the next good step. i'm glad you are not taking drugs and see the danger in that.
your first priority is: what do you have to do to get your baby back? if it was me i would do everything (and anything else i could think of or professional ppl could tell me) to do straight down the line to that one goal. obviously one thing is providing a safe environment for the baby: meaning at this point your bf is not part of that. i think you know that without anyone telling you from what you posted.
my first real relationship was with a terribly abusive (physically and mentally) guy. it has had an effect on every relationship i've had since. so i feel for you and send support for you to be strong enough to do what you have to for yourself. but even though i understand, don't let yourself be a victim. you do have a part in this too.
i don't mean to be preachy to you--please don't take it that way. but the bad relationship part of your story rings a bell with me and things i've been thru....
please keep posting and letting us know how you are. we are a supportive bunch on this site. you sound like you have a good head on your shoulders.
oh and congrats new mommy
bo