ApprovalPending, welcome.
Don't know if that's the approval process...
AP, I
can relate to a lot of what you said about needing for him to mess up in order to break the tie, I've been there.
But consider, he's only hit you once? But also
And threw me into walls, dragged me down steps, tried to hit me with my van, and much more.
that's all physical abuse, sugar. And he's getting high, so he's not predictable. Is it really worth the money he'll be getting back from school? Are you so sure you'll even see it? Sounds like he needs lots of money for those scripts.
Waiting on him to mess up so badly that you can justify leaving him to yourself is a very dangerous game you're playing. You're recovering from delivery still, you're in no shape to be living with a potential killer...
You might want to check out the codependent forum on this site:
Friends and Family of Substance Abusers - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Take care of yourself, you're worth it regardless of what he says. And you're not alone.
-TB, from (very bad) experience