Originally Posted by DangerousDan
And recognizing that immediately is of supreme importance Jay. The beast is calling you. You know that.
.
I do know that. Had a crappy morning,Apathetic really.Tried moving around the boards started to feel better but realized it was just superficial. Feeling in dangerous territory. So,I decided I was going to go to an AA meeting. Never been before. Called the hotline,found a meeting close to where I was at and just went. I hated it. I hated everything about it. There were about 40-50 people there.The people I heard talk were idiots. Im sorry,Im not usually judgmental. After all,I am also an idoit at times. But this was different.
I must have heard the F#@$ word 100 times in the 20min I was there. Seemed to be the adj,noun and verb for everyone. I think I heard it nine times in one sentence. I saw 3 people sleeping,many non-interested(I understand that) I gotta stop cause I just cant tell you how disgusted I feel.
It feels like I reached out for something to grab onto and Im still trying to wipe it off my hands.
People coming over to my house tonight to watch the Laker game. Everyone's going to be drinking,Hot tub on,music blaring,I just dont even want to go home. But If I dont I know I'll drink for sure. Im so damn sick of the ups and downs. After two weeks I thought I would feel just a glimmer of stability.Another sigh! Good God maybe apathy is the way to go.
Help me out friends
---J