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Distorted Thinking
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09-12-2009, 11:25 AM
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Mattcake
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 2,433
That's a good one, Zen. My inner despot used to be ruthless, drove me crazy - til I told him to STHU.
These days, whenever a "should" or "must" shows up, I consciously turn it into a positive "want" statement. Sometimes it takes a little effort, but the effects are amazing.
Easy example:
"I must do my laundry."
--> I want to do the laundry because I love fresh, clean clothes
Others take a lot of work:
Tough one (currently working on it):
"I must quit smoking"
--> I absolutely want to stop smoking because ....
A lot of these "wants" have completely replaced the urgency and rigidity of the past "shoulds". I can take them or leave them, sometimes to the -personally ground breaking point, lol- of doing stuff because I actually *want* to... or not doing stuff simply because I don't want to. No more tyranny.
It's not a free for all, though. If I run into a complex situation where it's very tricky to replace a "must" with a "want", I use
Viktor Frankl's
Logotherapy
... meaningful effort.
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