Welcome B,
When the (then-recovering) drug addict I loved disappeared (much the same way yours has), friends would say to me, "God is protecting you." "Maybe you just dodged a bullet."
But their well-meaning phrases did not help ease my pain and I was so in love with my man that at the time I WOULD HAVE taken the BULLET for him. And I had years of codependent recovery at the time. But the longing for his presence, the willingness to stick by him, and the disbelief that he could be an ENTIRELY DIFFERENT man in relapse all made me emotionally ill.
B, it has been three years now. 14 weeks went by for me, as they have for you, and another 14 and another 14 and another 14. I counted the days I waited. Eventually, I approached 1000 days.....Three years now and still no word from him. He just "disappeared."
I never tried to track him down or find him at his work or go by his house. I waited. I knew it was HE who had to get clean and come to me to clean things up between us. It was his responsibility and is so today. I will NOT contact that man.
After he had been "missing" a year from my life, I checked the website of his company to see if he was listed as an employee because I wanted to know if he was still alive. His name was there. And that was the only information I was willing to seek. Because I know what recovery looks like, I know what is expected of an addict working a 12 Step program, and therefore I KNOW not to seek him out in any way.
His abrupt flight away from me was traumatizing for me on many levels and triggered childhood wounds that needed healing. I have worked very hard--weekly--in therapy for three years, working through that and finding my core strength and my unshakable beliefs about who I am and what I need in my life.
I hope this experience will propel you, dear B, to find out about your own woundedness, your own naivete (I had been so naive all my life), and will in some way create some kind of good in your life, in spite of all the pain and heartache.
I hope he finds his way to recovery. For now, grief is with you. Just ride it out as best you can, and know that God is holding you and guiding your life.
Love,
Bluejay