Cool, you can do this. I can't even begin to tell you the betrayal I have felt from my X husband. How many times I had asked him for help and I felt as if he threw me to the curb like a load of garbage. I was devastated for a very, very, very long time. Over two years now and it still hurts, not as much.
If it weren't for all of that pain I would have never been as determined as I have been to make it to where I am today. While he made the choice that I was not good enough for him I make the choice everyday I am good enough for me.
The years I spent with him I will never get back but I have my whole future to make my life mine now. All the alcohol I drank over all the pain I had when I was with him? He's not worth a drop of it today. No matter what.
I am truly sorry that this is a hard time for you. Keep posting, we are all here for you. :ghug3