I resemble this remark
“Trying to push away physical or emotional pain is like creating a dam for the impermanent experience: it doesn’t get rid of the pain; it just keeps it around for a longer period of time. Eventually the floodgates burst, however, and we are faced with the truth of our own self-made suffering.”—Noah Levine
Its what I did for 45 years with drugs and drunks. I am danger in doing it now with the betrayal of my wife. I need to remember its not the betrayal of my life. I can move on I can get though I can come out the other side--Damn the dam.