SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information - View Single Post - i don't know if i should be with my recovering addict fiance

09-04-2009, 05:04 PM

# 14 (permalink)

URMYEVERYTHING

Member

Join Date: Dec 2008

Location: Philadelphia, PA

Posts: 611

Quote:

Originally Posted by confusedfiance

i have not gone to al-anon, just nar-anon. i can't expect them to be positive if their addicts are not recovered, so i don't blame them. i guess i want to hear "puppies & rainbows." ya know, "yes your fiance can/will get better, etc." i don't know how i'd relate to al-anon people though - my fiance really does not like alcohol and never ever abused it.

Mine doesn't either. Just when I hear them talk I apply the same coping skills they use. I'm only suggesting Al-Anon as more people attend, in my experience.

he has been honest about his addiction now. however, let me clarify my question. when an addict is in the middle of his addiction, can he ever be honest? i'm wondering why my fiance couldn't tell me about his addiction prior to his suicide attempt.

There is so much shame and guilt an addict must work through when in recovery. That could be the simplest answer as to why he can't be open about his past behavior while in addiction. Get the book "Reclaim your Family from Addiction" by Craig Nakken to get a better understanding as to what happens to the whole family in addiction. It gives a good perspective on how the addict recovers in early, middle and late recovery. It has helped me understand my BF as he recovers.