thanks. yes, the wedding has been canceled/postponed since about five days after everything came crashing down.
there are four area na-anon meetings, luckily, i live in an area with a high concentration of people and seemingly a high concentration of addicts as a result.
the thoughts of hurting my fiance are not constant, just fleeting. again, i am feeling many different emotions at different times of the day. most times, i just feel sadness and sorrow.
i have read about addiction being a disease and my fiance likens it to dr. jekyll and mr. hyde. he said there was no way he could have been open about his addiction. he was too afraid and ashamed.
based on your experiences, is it ever possible for an addict to be honest about their addiction? that is something i am struggling with it. i feel that there were opportunities for him to be honest and come clean and it aches me that he didn't have the guts to do so. once, i screamed at him over and over again for being selfish.
he thinks i should be more active in getting better. maybe i don't want to be.