I'm in the market for a sponsor. I've had the same one since I was a little over a month sober (fresh out of rehab), and there's no doubt in my mind I was led to her. I couldn't have asked for a better guide through the steps, even though many of the details of our individual lives were very different from each other.
For the past while, she's had her hands full raising babies and working very long hours, and I'm traveling a good bit of the week, so we don't connect the way we used to. I still need another human being, though--I've sought out others for mini-5th steps and to complete a tenth step. It would be nice to have one specific person who's agreed to help me with these things. But, I have sponsees with multiple years' sobriety who are beyond their formal step work, and we often use each other for this purpose. Still, it's not exactly the same. So, I'm again praying for the right woman to be put in my path.
Do I have a sponsor? Yes, in name, anyway. Does a sponsor become unnecessary at some point? Depends, I guess, on how many other resources we have available. If old stuff comes up, something left off my 4th step the first time around, I need another human being to hear it. I don't consider a 10th step complete unless someone else knows about it -- and I often share those everyday things with sponsees still doing formal step work. The teacher in me sees it as an opportunity to demonstrate "spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection" (1st Ed. BB). I've gotten along in this way, though it sure would be nice to have just one person on speed dial.
I do think it's necessary that we have connections with other human beings. If human beings were unnecessary on this journey, then I wouldn't be directed to seek one out for the 5th step, or right my wrongs with them in the 9th, or carry the message to them in the 12th. Although my reliance must be on the God of my understanding, I can't transcend the human plane.
Peace & Love,
Sugah