From
How Al Anon Works for Families and Friends of Alcoholics p.139
This is from Lois’s Story, where she writes about her own work on the 12 steps:
Step 3: Self sufficiency, caused by the habit of acting as mother, nurse, caretaker and breadwinner, as well as always thinking of myself on the credit side of the ledger with my alcoholic husband on the debit side, resulted in my having a smug feeling of righteousness. At the same time, illogically, I felt a failure at my life’s job of helping Bill to sobriety. All this made me blind for a long time to the fact that I needed to turn my will and my life over to the care of God. I believe smugness is the very worst sin of all. Only with great difficulty does a shaft of light pierce the armor of self-righteousness.
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Step 3: Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
How do I feel about turning my life over to a Higher Power for guidance?
How do I know who or what my Higher Power is?
Am I willing to try to turn my problems over? What could help me to be willing?
How can I stop thinking, trying and considering, and actually make a decision?
Have I had a problem making decisions in my life? Give examples.
If I am unable to make this decision, what holds me back?
Do I trust my Higher Power to take care of me?
How might Step Three help me keep my hands off situations created by others?
What consequences have I had by obsessing on problems and other people?
When I “Let Go and Let God” take care of my life, am I willing to follow the guidance I receive?
How can I turn a situation over and let go of the results?
How can I stop myself from taking my will back?
What can I do when my loved ones make decisions I don’t like?
How can I let my loved ones find their own life paths as I am finding mine?
What can I do to try to see others as God sees them?
How can I express God’s will in my actions and words towards others, including the alcoholic?