Originally Posted by
sclarke64448 
I think from your posts our relationships even broke up at the same time. Mine was at the end of May - but the actual break up dragged out until the middle of June with his, 'I do want you, I don't want you, I do, I don't, I don't know, give me time and space, etc.'
yes, that's about the same timeline as mine! how crazy is that! he kicked me out and sent me back home towards the end of may, but he went back and forth with the "i love you, i want to work on things" (i now realize he told me this when he was drunk) to "you can't push things, i don't want to talk about it, i don't know if i can get over what happened" up until he left for mexico, which was in june. UGH. i just can't believe that i believed his BS. yes, he loves me. yes, he wants to work on things. yes, he wants me to come back up. yes, we're committed to each other.....ALL BS!!!
Now I know I do bang on about how much I want to hear from him etc, but it's more my self esteem taking a battering along the lines of 'If a drunk can leave me for some woman who's not as smart, attractive or bright who's had four children by at least three different men, then what does that make me?' But then I need to tell myself of his words when he left - 'I honestly feel like I'm not good enough for you!' I disagreed with him. Maybe I should now start agreeing!
i definitely hear you on this one. i've had thoughts like this before...mostly along the lines of "how the hell did i get dumped by an alcoholic weed addict? who am i? if i can't even make a relationship with him work, what hope do i have of making a relationship work with someone who doesn't have his problems?" i've been reading
women who love too much and what you just said really reminded me of something i read in the book, i WISH i could find it but i've been searching and searching but i just can't find the right passage...i'll keep looking, hopefully it will turn up!