FreeingMyself

I've been reading the daily reflections book from alanon and also Codependent No More, and also have recently seperated from my AH. Let me just say, that between the 3 of these, I have been able to take the blinders off....and see what is for what it is. One of my big things in the past has been to make my reality what I wanted it to be....pretending that things weren't what they were, or as bad as they were. BUt, I realized that it is/was that bad....and that I had more than enough reality to see that. Besides just drinking, the reality of the controlling, jealous, and mean man that I am married to hit me today. But, this gave me a sense of freedom - when he tried to get under my skin today, I was able to simply tell him that the things he were saying were in his head...not the truth. He wasn't able to make me mad, because I did not give him that ability anymore. When he stopped by to see our daughter, he was the same angry depressed man he has been - nothing new, no trying to make it better ---but I HAVE changed! I remember someone on here several times asking "what are you going to do with your this wild and precious life?" or something like that....and I realized 1 life, 1 chance.......I have taken that to heart...now trying to decide in my real "reality" what to do....I feel relieved finally, and closer to being at peace than I have in a long time!