you are getting caught up in the whys........why this.......why that. doesn't matter. won't change what has already happened. you can never second guess an addict. the story changes from minute to minute when they are in active addiction. you check their behaviour not their excuses.
regarding your postponed wedding all you need to do is to make one statement IMHO. You tell those involved that you and your fiancee have decided to postpone the wedding at this time and state that you'd like to thank them for honoring your privacy and feelings at this difficult time.
Most compassionate and thoughtful people will honor your wishes.
Others will perhaps want details but the more you stick to your guns and the less details given the better off you will be.
This is just my opinion so take it for what its worth. I do know this is difficult but nothing compared with what you will experience as the wife of an addict. He is on his best behaviour now and look at the emotions you are experiencing.
Addicts don't mean to hurt those they love but they have no control. No one in their right mind would willingly go down the road of addiction and look forward to a life of pain, remorse, and suffering. Doesn't mean you have to accompany him. You don't have to get on the merry-go-round of addiciton unless you want to. Make your decision with your eyes wide open. It will affect your life forever more.
My best,
dixie