There are a couple of books that were real eye openers for me, "Codependent No More" by Melody Beattie and "Women Who Love Too Much" by Robin Norwood. I would encourage you to grab those if you have the opportunity.
I thought that marriage would make things better with my EXAH. I married him straight out of the penitentiary (his third stay there-on a parole violation that time).
It didn't, and things got so bad that I was a shell of my former self.
I would also encourage you to attend Naranon or Alanon, even if you decide things are over for the two of you.
I didn't do a lot of recommended things for my codependency early in my recovery from drugs/alcohol, and I spent 13 more long years making poor choices in men.