Welcome to SR, you made the first step in recovering youself. Addicts have a way of deflecting blame and guilt to others. They are very good at it. You can not change him but you can change yourself. It is not easy and a very long process. Your daughter needs you healthy and happy. The addicts in our lives will drain us emotionally and, financially. When we love someone and see they are hurting themselves our first reaction is to want to fix the problem. Only he can do this. You say you dont want him gone that long. I wish all programs were six months or longer. I too believe the longer they stay the more tools they are given to cope with there addiction. Please keep coming back to SR many wonderful, knowledgeable people here who truly care.