One main reason that I didn't want to stop drinking was because I did NOT like myself and when I drank I escaped ME, and I was a blackout drunk so I didn't totally realize that I hated me even more drunk. The last night I drank I wanted so much to escape me that I nearly killed myself and wound up in the hospital with a hole in my liver. I did not like living life sober because I did NOT like ME. Over the course of 12-18 months I learned to forgive myself and others who had harmed me and I learned to love ME. I have no desire to drink alcohol anymore because I do not want to miss 1 more second of this beautiful gift of life that God has given us.